Bernice Jackson – Writer for Rise of Dark Dawn, May 10, 2019
Same Shit Different Faces
I remember my mother telling me this. I didn’t understand what she meant because how can something you can’t see kill you? How can something that is not touchable kill you. Well once I got enough life under my belt, I finally understand what she meant; “My closed mouth will kill me”. As a child, you feel like you know more than your parents because they were born way back when. You feel like what happen yesterday is not going on today. But like my mother told me, “Same shit, just different faces”. The countless “don’t get to big for your britches or life will be your best teacher”, my mom uttered at me drove me crazy. What were britches anyway? Kidding, she told me. We often accuse our parents of trying to run our life because they are constantly lecturing (telling stories of what happen to them/others), using every situation as a life lesson (trying to get you see deeper into a mistake and how wrong that moment could have gone), keeping me a prisoner just because I wanted to go to a party (protecting you from drinking, drugs, sex and embarrassing yourself and the family). When you’re young, you are determined to show everyone, you can make without them.
Don’t Make The Same Mistakes
Little did I understand at that time; ELDERS hold a very special place in this world. There is a great honor in getting old and sharing the stories of a time you, yourself will never see. Elders sit with a wealth of knowledge, “I been there, done that, and I’m trying to keep you from doing the same thing”. Stepping out of YOURSELF/PRIDE to see the blessing of not having to fall so many times or fall hard is the key to fast growth. When your ship, called life, begins to rock back and forth from the rough waves, called “WTF”, and you need to raise your hand to get help, pride steps in, and you start trying to weather the storm alone. You begin to focus more on trying to hide, cover up or just lie about your mistakes because you may have been told not to go that route in the first place. Perhaps, pride tells you how embarrassing it will be to seek help, how you will be humiliated and looked down upon because you had a failure. You refuse to raise your hand to ask for help because you now realized you should have raised your hand for guidance.
“After saying so many ugly things about not needing anyone, how do I go back and tell them I was wrong and that I need help”, is what you replay over and over in your head. Pride can kill you. As you sink further and further down, and you are at the brink of losing your home, your job, your car, your kids, yourself, allow your inner screams of help to flow outward so someone can lean over and help you up. Don’t let pride stop you from picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and trying again. Failure is a aggravating, but only you can determine how fast you get up and get moving again.
I Should Have Listened
Biting that bullet and raising your hand to ask for help is not something anyone should be ashamed of. Every parent and grandparent already know you will be back. They already know, when the teacher name “LIFE” finishes with you, every lesson you rejected, will flood your memory and that “ah hah” moment will kick in. “If only I would have listened more, then I would not be in the mess”, is what you will say to yourself. Family, a good family, will always be there to catch you, no matter how many curve balls life can throw at you. You have to be willing to let go of pride, raise your hand, and listen so you don’t continue in the same loop. You have to listen, so you don’t slow/stop your own success in life. Don’t mistake judgement for trying to understand your situation. Don’t mistake the lecture for noise; for you may have to recall the lecture in the times of trouble/triumph.
Place Pride In Your Pocket
Talk to your elders often because their experiences are something you can learn and grow from. Their experiences are something you have never gone through before, and with a little patience, will never have to go through. At the first sign of trouble place your pride in your pocket and raise your hand. There will come a day when all that wisdom and experience will no longer be available. If not family, then find someone who understands failure, success, disappointments, triumphs, and let their journey be an inspiration for you. Raising your hand and asking for help is critical to your growth. Only you can determine how fast you get up from a failure to succeed. Rooted.